There's a show, I think on ABC, that uses actors to confront unknowing people with ethical dilemmas and then there are hidden cameras to record their responses. Sometimes it's bullying, sometimes it's racism, sometimes it's cheating or stealing or trying to get away with something illegal. It's always interesting to see how different people react and then when they are questioned about their reaction, to hear what motivated them. In these scenarios, the "observer" never has a prior relationship with the victim or the perpetrator. Because of the set-up aspect of the show, they will not have a future relationship with either party. The focus is what you would do in the moment for a stranger.
So now comes my question, what would you do?
You have at least an acquaintance level relationship with a person, but not much more. You see this family around the neighborhood, at the gym, at the ball field, at church, at school events, wherever you and your family spend time. Whenever you see each other you say, "Hi!" and exchange a brief conversation of pleasantries. The other parent(s) is all smiles and has the "friendly voice" on. However, just before you made eye contact, or after they think you're out of earshot, 90% of the time, they are directly criticizing or berating one or more of their children. Maybe it's just the mom that has the razor sharp tongue and sarcastic comment for every act of imperfection. Maybe it's the dad that seems to point out every falter and flaw. There is a very harsh tone and body postures that just make you uncomfortable. Whomever it is, you can see that it is slowly eating away at the fiber of the children, but what do you do? There don't appear to be any signs of physical abuse, so you don't think you could intervene legally. You don't have a strong enough relationship with the kids to ask them if there's more going on behind closed doors. You just know it's not right. So what do you do?
1 comment:
A very good question, because I have witnessed such an event many times in the last 30 years. It always makes me very uncomfortable, and usually distracts me from whatever I am trying to do. I have read or heard "experts" say, "if one finds them self in a situation, like this, one can just comment how stressful being in public with little ones can be." sometimes just the slight interference diffuses a situation. Perhaps finding something positive to say to the parent can help also. For example complimenting them on their physical appearance, or perhaps how said children seem to enjoy their 'ice cream, drink, lollipop, chips, etc. If children seem to have boundless energy, commenting on how that can magnify one's lack of enthusiasm. Well maybe you get the message, just speaking to someone sometimes does help. Anyway, I am interested to see the responses you get. Love ya!
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