Fantasy vs. Reality: Revelations from Disney (Part 3)

The Virtue and Vice of Fantasy

A little girl dreams of being a princess--not just an overindulgent spoiled girl, but the child of a king, able to bring positive change to the masses, her beauty matched only by her goodness. Like the title character in Frances Hodgson Burnett's, A Little Princess, she knows, deep down, that she's a princess even when her circumstances indicate otherwise.

A little boy longs to be a superhero--defending justice, protecting the weak, defeating the "bad guys". He has a weakness of his own, but his strength is proved greater each time he battles evil and gains another victory for good.

The childhood fantasies built on fables & fairy tales are not all bad. They can actually be quite good, which is why it was so exciting to visit Disney World with my children while they are young. It is a "magical" place. A place where fables and fairy tales come to life, and yet, even in this place, I was continually drawn back to reality.

It is fun to be in a fantasy land. However, when you are responsible for others, even in a fantasy your choices have consequences. If we stayed in the sun all day we could have great fun, but without sunscreen we would suffer the consequences of sunburn indefinitely. We could eat junk food and let our young children skip naps because we were having fun, but the consequences of cranky and irritable kids and adults would soon catch up with us.

I've noticed, as we've recently been reading some of the original tales of H.C. Andersen, The Brothers Grimm, and even Mother Goose nursery rhymes, that there is a depth to these tales that our modern culture seems to overlook, or even eliminate in the retelling.

Take The Little Mermaid, for example. If you've never read the original, by Hans Christian Andersen, you should. The images created by his words in the opening paragraph are exquisite. I love the Disney version & can sing along with each tune, but I can't get over the extraordinary differences between the two tales and the subtle messages each presents to the audience.

In Andersen's tale the little mermaid suffers greatly for the "deal" she makes with the enchantress who lived under the sea. If she is unable to win the love of the prince, she will cease to exist. She receives legs to visit the prince she rescued, but she loses her voice and experiences excruciating pain when she walks or dances and her feet bleed terribly. She does not win the prince's love, her sister's also make personal sacrifices to try to save their younger sister, and in the end she is separated from her love and her family.

In the Disney version, Ariel directly disobeys her father, Triton. She makes the "deal" with the sea witch and also exchanges her voice for legs, though not nearly so painfully as Andersen's version. If she is unable to win the prince's affection, she will become a mermaid again and belong to the sea witch. She does win the love of the prince, without ever speaking. Her father sacrifices himself for her happiness. When the sea witch is defeated and all spells are broken, Ariel receives her father's blessing and he grants her desire to be human.

So here is my struggle. "Happily ever after" endings are fun. They're just not realistic when you are making choices that have unhappy consequences. And here is where the fables and fairy tales of childhood make their way into adulthood.

I am concerned that our current culture is selling a version of fantasy to adults that ignores the natural consequences of such fantasies. Since we have access to information and images at a much more rapid pace than even 15 years ago, we must be even more diligent when choosing where we will focus our attention.

During the drive to and from Disney I was bombarded with advertisements emblazoned on billboards announcing various types of fantasy without mention of the consequences. None of the signs that welcomed truckers with promises to "bare it all" warned men that partaking in such fantasies would inhibit or greatly impair their ability to have true intimacy with women now or in the future, could destroy marriages, and/or cause extraordinary damage to their children. None of the advertisements for books or movies in the Twilight series warned women that if you "need" someone the way that Bella and Edward do, you're probably right in the middle of an extremely unhealthy cycle of co-dependency that will likely prevent either partner from experiencing wholeness.

Maybe the surgeon general should start printing warnings for these adult forms of fantasy. To keep things simple, she could just write, "WARNING: YOUR CHOICES DO HAVE CONSEQUENCES".