Fantasy vs. Reality: Revelations from Disney (Part 2)

Picture with a Princess

Have you ever had the opportunity to meet someone that you admired from a distance? Maybe it was a celebrity, an author, a politician, a sports figure, a musician? When you were finally face to face with this person, how did you respond?

Last weekend, my three-year-old, Mackenzie, met some REAL princesses. Five real princesses, to be exact. While at Disney we decided to surprise the kids with some "Character Dining" experiences, so that each one could get a little extra time with some of their favorite characters. Mackenzie's dining experience was first.

As the hostess escorted us into the restaurant, we were "next in line" to meet Belle, from Beauty and the Beast. Mackenzie's eyes lit up with excitement and she immediately began to reach for a hand, or leg, or any part of a familiar person that she could hold to help calm the anxiety that comes when she meets someone new. She wasn't prepared to make the introductions alone and Daddy was holding the camera, so I walked forward with her. Annie, our not-quite-two-year-old, slept soundly on my shoulder.

Belle was gracious. She knelt down to talk with Mackenzie and listened carefully, trying to discern the whispers that only a Mommy or Daddy can translate into recognizable words. She made a clever comment that Annie must be Sleeping Beauty. Then we stood together and smiled as a photographer snapped a picture that would become a commemorative keepsake.

We enjoyed our meal. Just as dessert was served, the other princesses began making their trip through the dining area, stopping at each table to talk with starry-eyed girls. Mackenzie was excited and nervous at the same time. She would wiggle in her seat, unable to sit still as each princess came closer and closer to our table. Then she would be frozen in awe as each one stopped beside her chair and began to talk. It was such fun to watch.

Near the end of the meal, we received the photo that was taken when we entered the restaurant. I opened the folder. I looked at the photo. And as most women will, I began to scrutinize myself, not aloud, but the words were there, running through my mind as fast as the synapses could fire.

I continued to think about this photo throughout the day. I was reminded once again that, "I must continually choose between the pursuit of a fantasy or acceptance of reality."

If I choose the pursuit of a fantasy, in this situation, I'll be apt to make comments about the things that I view as my own imperfections. We've all heard women do this, whether while looking in the dressing room mirror, flipping through old photo albums, or watching home movies. "My hips look so wide...Does my stomach really hang over my pants like that?...My eyes are so small...My nose is too big...I should never wear a swimsuit again, EVER...Why did you let me wear that?...I look awful!" And the list could go on.

Then the reality sinks in. The words that I speak about myself now are the words that will play back in my daughter's mind as she gets older. She will receive plenty of messages from the media and her peers about what her positive and negative attributes are. The most consistent messages she receives will come from home. I must use my words responsibly because "the tongue has the power of life and death". One day, someone might say, "You remind me so much of your mom." I want my daughters to receive this as a positive. I don't want them to replay negative comments that I made about myself.

When I look at the picture with Belle now, I see it more clearly. Belle is a cartoon character. Cartoon characters don't age. Cartoon characters don't live. Belle went through wardrobe, hair, and make-up then stood in an air conditioned building before we met. I woke up and bathed 3 children, walked in the central Florida humidity, and stood in the sun for a few minutes before we met. Belle stands with shoulders back, hands posed, and a smile that doesn't reach her eyes. I stand leaning a little, one hand to support my own excited and nervous princess, one hand holding the sleeping child on my shoulder, and a smile that creases the corners of my eyes.

Fantasy may make a pretty picture, but reality makes life more enjoyable.